I’ve really had enough with visiting my news pages in the morning and seeing “CRISIS” everywhere and attached to every headline. Tied with the economy, my poor job outlook situation, and the stress of planning a wedding, trying to lose weight (which, by the way, the easiness of that is very closely tied to my stress level), and Ian’s job search…well, I wouldn’t be all that surprised if life expectancy for this generation might go down a little (for the first time…in a long time, at any rate). I don’t want to die of a heart attack by 30 or 35, but with how crappy everything seems to be going…

Not that I’m going to give up. I can’t. I have to hold out hope. After all, the call I received today saying that I didn’t get a job did have some positive elements in it, laced with a nice taste of bitter: Principal: “Frankly, I’m surprised that you don’t have a job yet.”

Me too. I have been the runner-up about five times now.

But at any rate, I need to start watching my wallet more carefully, and maybe it would do me some good to learn some more self-reliance for the upcoming years. So, in the name of self-sufficiency, I am going to set my goal for tomorrow: I am going to learn how to sew a button. (I think I learned this in 7th grade home ec, but I have not done anything like it in a while). I have a few buttons that have fallen off my winter coat and it’s beginning to get chilly. I will learn how to fix it myself. And I will do it.

Yay self-sufficiency!

So I completed my teaching application for the Diocese of Pittsburgh; all that’s left now is to print it out somewhere (my own printer has been out of black ink for the past few months and this is the kind of thing I can’t just switch to dark blue for), add my clearance documents, and mail it in. So that’s done.

I’ve also requested information about Reading Specialist certification at Pitt, which seems to be the only school in the area offering it. My only concerns about “getting in” at the moment would be a teaching experience requirement. I’m not sure if my teaching internship qualifies as experience, nor if my day-to-day substituting counts. Part of the reason I want the certification is to make me more adaptable to the job market (though I would definitely enjoy teaching reading, as well) but if this is yet another Catch-22, where you need experience to get experience so you can get hired and get experience…well, let’s just say I’d be less than pleased. It’s hard when you’re a qualified applicant (and also a pretty damn good teacher), and all that matters is what step you’ve reached in a school (more than 1, but less than 5 seems to be the golden standard of school districts in southwestern Pennsylvania – and it matters little whether or not you actually try to do your job, regardless of how good you are).

I have looked a little more into the PhD programs. They sound really fascinating and getting my doctorate is definitely something I will do in the future; my research has led me to that conclusion. There are two programs that stick out to me, both offered at Pitt. One is Learning Science and Policy, which would appeal to my interest in institutions, systems, and research; the other is Language, Learning, and Culture, which would appeal to my interest in language, gender, and social constructs. I will continue to look at these as my future becomes a little clearer.

But I don’t think now is the time. I’m getting married in July. Who knows when Ian will know what he is doing next year (he is working on it), but there’s no guarantee we will stay in Pittsburgh. I’ve begun to scope out the employment situation in other cities we may move to (Washington, D.C. is a likely candidate) and while I know “there are always a million reasons not to do something,” committing to something for the next 4-7 years without knowing what my future spouse is doing or where he’ll end up may not be a wise choice. Even if it means I am stuck with belittling administrators, a tough job market, and waking up to calls at 5am telling me, “Why yes, you are working today,” and that’s about as much advance notice as I ever get. Plus, who knows what might happen with the Diocese of Pittsburgh. From what Ian says (as a K-12 product of the Catholic school system), it’s hard to get qualified teachers in Catholic schools who are willing to work for less salary and minimal benefits who also identify as members of the religion. But they better believe that I’m willing.

Even though I think public education has so much to offer to the world, my experiences thus far have made me seriously reconsider whether or not I ever want my children in public schools. And while I strongly believe that religion and government institutions just should not mix, I don’t have a problem with education (that parents choose, not have forced upon them) that helps instill religious values also being taught at home. It’s no more brainwashing than forcing students to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance every day – or even better, look at the view of history presented in some/most American high school social studies textbooks. There is some scary stuff in there. In tenth grade, my social studies teacher ranted for a good fifteen minutes about the Nazi sympathies of the textbook we were using while studying Hitler’s rise to power.

The primary question for me as a (future) parent is whether or not the values are good and ones that I share. The “undercurrent values” taught at most public schools I’ve worked in, despite the efforts of a few great individuals, are not something I want my kids exposed to as young children or adolescents (primarily, minimal work, lack of care and attention, and testing, testing, testing over thinking.) Obviously, some of these values are pervasive throughout American/Western society and part of growth comes from exposure and then rejection of these ideas, so it’s not like I want to protect these as-yet-non-existent children from anything and everything that might disturb their little world. I refuse to be one of “those parents.” But I probably will be, to somebody out there.

Anyway, the point is that I think I could really enjoy teaching in a Catholic school, just because the mission is more aligned with my tastes and values, and I feel like I could have more freedom to teach, because private and parochial schools have less oversight from the government so there’s less pressure from the administration. Kids in Catholic school don’t take PSSAs (one HUGE point in their favor). But they’re not free from scrutiny, either. Seems like a good mix – we’ll just have to see.

So despite the kind of dead-end I’ve reached for this year, maybe it’s not too bad. While I’m glad that I finished my MAT in one year rather than two, it makes sense that there would be a bit of a lag until Ian was finished and we make some permanent plans, finally.

For now, I think about ten different directions I could go, and I wait.

So I updated my Monster.com account and applied for two job openings over the weekend. One was for a for-profit school in the Pittsburgh area (so, not ideal, but still – permanent!) and the other was online, part-time, for international students (again, not ideal, but still – income!) I guess a decision is being made tonight regarding whether or not I’m employed for the rest of the school year. I am still holding onto hope, but also bracing for disappointment. Even if that decision is made, I have very little idea of when I would know what that decision is. Hopefully sooner, even if it’s not the one I would rather have.

In updating my resume and looking at other opportunities, I’ve also considered diversifying as a teacher by adding Reading Specialist certification (one of the biggest problems I’ve faced in the classroom is teaching literature to students who can’t read) or by moving into a different aspect of education, namely, education policy. As a teaching intern and a substitute teacher, I’ve had the opportunity to work inside a variety of classrooms and talk with teachers and administrators as a kind of “outsider” – someone who isn’t inside the system with an agenda to pursue, at least not beyond getting a permanent job – and in many situations, I think the problems public schools in particular are facing are fundamental, institutionally-based flaws, not something a teacher can fix with dynamic lesson plans (perhaps bought and sold on the Internet) even though it may help.

I’ve often thought that my high school teaching career would probably be short (less than 10 years), but that’s obviously not something you share with prospective employers. Frankly, I’ve already seen and experienced how toxic an environment it can be for teachers who genuinely want their students to learn (see my employment situation, where my students have had six different English teachers since the last week of August thanks to nepotism and poor planning) and while there’s something to be said for teachers who stick it out, I’m not sure that’s the place for me to effect change. I’ve been interested in policy since I was an undergraduate, and the roots and foundations of institutions and how to effect change in a large way (this was less about the literature-loving part of me and more about the Women’s Studies major, sociologist part of me) seem to me like really important work I could do. So I’ve been looking into PhD programs about learning policy. I’m not sure what exactly my timeframe is, but depending on my employment situation this may be something I go for next fall. It would incorporate almost all of my interests (research, social justice and change, gender, education, and public policy) and I would have the opportunity to continue teaching on a collegiate level.

Sometimes I have this feeling that God is directing me to something else. I try really hard to let that voice in, but sometimes I want to block it out to force a fit with my own plans. But maybe I am supposed to do something else. I should pursue that voice and find my place to make a difference. Maybe the spot where I belong is a little bit different, but still in the same realm.

My goal for tomorrow is to think about this a little more (which seems like a cop-out, but believe me, I’ll be thinking about it, and analyzing it, and figuring out what I want to do). I have another goal of digging up some of my old Masters coursework that I can submit as part of my application if I decide to go for it. I have submitted my transcript for review at one school already, so we’ll see what happens from there.

Oh, world of academia…if I had known I would have been hankering to go back so soon…

As I’ve said before, this blog is not about melodrama; yet I haven’t figured out an effective way to post about the less-than-optimistic things in my life because the entire goal of this blog is optimism, and hope, and growth. The last goal I talked about (now eight days ago) was avoiding being too subversive or loud or calling too much attention to myself at my first pre-marriage class.

The first class definitely put me on edge. At one point, the instructor (a married deacon from the area) had a conflict with an attendee about the Roman Catholic Church’s position on divorce and annulment, who brought up the excellent point that the Catholic Church will generally permit an annulment if it’s found that a married couple has different ideas about how many children to have or how to raise them; but will not necessarily grant one if a woman is being abused by her husband. For Catholics, divorce is a civil concept only and they don’t recognize it, because once you’re married (if you’re validly married in the eyes of the Church and theoretically also of God), you’re married for good. The only way you can ever marry someone else after you’ve already been married in the Church is if your spouse dies, or the original marriage is declared never to have been valid in the first place. If one spouse doesn’t want kids, then you can’t have a valid marriage according to the Church because marriage is supposed to be open to the creation of children (they also use this line of reasoning to argue against same-sex marriages using the ole plug and socket routine, but I don’t think it applies in the same sense). The flipside is: when you get married, you’re supposed to sacrifice for each other and take the good times with the bad, and supposedly if your husband is abusing you, as if a spouse were to get hooked on drugs some time into your marriage, that’s just a “bad time.” Now, the Church doesn’t (by doctrine) frown upon separation, but if you got a civil divorce and then wanted to marry someone else, you couldn’t in the Catholic faith because you’d be committing polygamy. I would argue (and so did this person) that an abusive spouse has a fundamental misunderstanding of what marriage is (a sacrament entered into freely by two people who love, honor and respect each other) so the marriage couldn’t be valid, but the deacon decided to be a bit of an old codger about it. So that was a fun little controversial time, though (thankfully) not brought up by me, although I was thinking about it. Our most controversial moment came when Ian countered all the statements about the bad state of marriage today by saying that wives aren’t generally expected to be house servants (which may or may not be completely true, but more women will at least say they don’t want to be maids even if they end up doing most of the picking up after their husbands).

This week’s was better. Ian and I agreed we would keep our mouths shut, something both of us have horrible trouble with, but broke that rule about five minutes in. Yesterday’s session was all about communication, and thankfully I think Ian and I are pretty much on the same page with the Church about this (next week’s session is about sex – that should be a fun one), namely, you should communicate and be on the same page about things; or at least know what the disagreement is about. So even though we couldn’t keep our mouths shut, we managed okay. We were also the first couple there again, so that was fun and awkward.

As far as tomorrow, I am planning to post again, as I always do, and I am going to try and make it happen. My job situation has deteriorated…I’m pretty sure I no longer have one, even though no one’s told me so yet. My goal for tomorrow is to update my Monster account and check out some other entry-level opportunities (yes, including outside teaching) in the area. Some of my other upcoming daily goals will be job related, too, but I need to take this one step at a time.

So, it’s November 4th and already I’ve neglected my monthly goal to post every day by two days. But that’s okay, because instead of saying “to hell with it” as I did before I’m back and I’m going to go for it, even though I don’t necessarily have much to say.

Basically, I might not have a job anymore. I secured (kind of) a teaching job in mid-October, to (basically) be told on Monday that it might be given to somebody else (who has an “in” with an administrator). I might have already lost it, even though, technically speaking, we’re still competing. But in the meantime I’m seeking out other opportunities and getting back on the day-to-day sub lists. I was pretty bummed the past two days over the whole situation, so it was hard to post and even pretend to be cheerful, but I also don’t want to blog the way I did in high school, where every post was “woe is me” (though at least I’m not worried about the “I don’t have a boyfriend!!!” posts anymore). There’s enough of that kind of crap on the Internet.

One interesting development, though: yesterday I got to spend time with a friend I met through Ian (she was a student in a class he TAed for) and we stayed up way too late at her apartment just talking about philosophy and life and issues. I haven’t done anything like that since undergrad, because in my grad program we just didn’t have the time and I didn’t really establish any meaningful connections there except with my instructors, and even then I’m not the kind of person who goes over to a “superior’s” house to have a few drinks and discuss questions like “Why are we here?” Those kinds of conversations definitely didn’t happen at work, because when you’re a teacher you don’t spend a lot of meaningful time with other teachers, who are presumably at a similar intellectual level, and while junior high and high school students are capable of critical thought, the vast majority usually choose not to engage in it in favor of other pursuits. It was fantastic to talk to somebody about intellectual issues who has a passion for learning and life as much as I do, and while Ian and I do that frequently, we’ve been together long enough now that we pretty much know how the other feels and the conversations sound the same (we also tend to, maybe too frequently, completely agree with each other, so there’s less we can learn). It’s nice to go out and talk to people and really get to know them and share thoughts. This is definitely something I need to do a LOT more in the future.

Tomorrow, Ian and I have our first marriage prep class with the Diocese of Pittsburgh. I guess there’s a maximum of 60 couples, or 120 people, per session, so I imagine we’ll spend a lot of time being talked at rather than contributing, but my goal is to avoid burning any bridges on the first day. I’m passionate about my faith and I love it, but there’s also a lot of crazy people out there who are going to try and tell me my marriage will be about something it isn’t and that, for whatever reason, it’s justified by Church teachings. I learned when going through the RCIA process and having multiple discussions about theological issues that many people who feel profoundly connected to their faith don’t necessarily think deeply about it (and, frankly, some of them can’t or absolutely refuse to), and make ridiculous assumptions about what people should or should not do based on particular teachings, and I tended to get really fired up at those discussion. I’ll probably have to keep a watch on what I say and who I say it to tomorrow to avoid being pegged as a troublemaker, even though (and yes, I am aware of how arrogant this sounds) Ian and I have probably thought about our marriage and what it means a lot more than some of the other couples present. But if I get argumentative, it won’t matter at all what I have to say and I won’t be able to change anything. Plus, it’s just something I need to get through, even if that’s not the way it should be. So keeping my head down may be the best option.

As a sidenote, my bedroom closet is still full but it’s organized. Christmas presents are going to begin getting wrapped pretty soon, too!

Hello folks.

So September and October weren’t exactly the most fun months of my life. I was working about 60 hours a week, not doing anything that really stimulated me mentally, barely getting enough sleep, and disappointed with tiny paychecks (working that much at minimum wage, with student loan bills looming, is not much of a morale booster). So I wasn’t thinking about blogging very much. Plus, too much of it seemed like the same day-in and day-out, but no progress. Too depressing. Not exactly what I set out to share with this world.

This blog, in many ways, is about hope. Hope that I can make gradual steps in the right direction, day-by-day, as well as big leaps month to month. So there are a lot of changes in the works right now, both in terms of my employment and personal life; but I’m going to keep a lid on some of it for right now until the picture’s a bit clearer. I will, say, however, that I’m recommitting to this. It’s like quitting smoking – lots of fits and starts, but eventually, one time it’ll just click. I’m hoping this is it – but if it isn’t, I’ll just start it up again. This blog has been the most “me” out of any of the ones I’ve had before, and I’m coming (I think) to a stable part in my life when I can commit to being me every day, both in this box of text and the real world.

My goal for today was to post. The first of the month is always a good “restart” point, and since it came at the end of Daylight Saving Time and was on Sunday (which is one of two acceptable options for the first day of week), it seemed even better. My goal for this month? Post everyday. The way this blog is supposed to be.

My goal for tomorrow? Rather modest. Clean and organize my bedroom closet. I need a good place to clear out to start stocking my Christmas gifts (yes, I’m one of those people who shops crazy early).

As I posted on Twitter last night, I had every intention of posting this morning, when Ian called me from school telling me that he was sick and asking me to please pick him up. I’ve spent most of the day making sure he doesn’t sneeze swine flu on me (he probably doesn’t have it – he’s exhibiting the exact same symptoms that I did this previous weekend, so hopefully after a couple days of rest he’ll be back to normal). Oh, and I’ve made him several cups of green and chamomile tea with honey. Now he’s napping, so I figured it would be a fair time to blog.

So I’m not really that bad a person.

But I did achieve my goal yesterday of calling my alma mater to see if it would be possible to reserve rooms for wedding guests at Ian’s old fraternity house. Unfortunately, no one in their Special Events office seems to be in charge of that right now, so who knows how this will all work out? I figure it should at some point, as friends of ours who got married there two years ago managed the same deal. Oh, precedent.

Also, Pittsburgh is ready, riot-gear and all, for the G20. So are the protesters. Fun banners hang from the West End Bridge, and I still see military vehicles traversing the streets of my otherwise quiet neighborhood. Oh, and we’re in a downpour. That’s normal Pittsburgh in September!

But as we embark on this economic summit that will probably not mean very much to anyone except the “official” attendees and the chance for some protesters to get their voices heard by the media (and the others who are just trying to cause mayhem because they like it – I’m looking at you, whoever threatened to put poop in coffeeshop soap dispensers), let me just show you one excellent way to promote your message (initially found thanks to Ginny at That’s Church):

Now that’s how you do an effective protest. Not by being a jerk (it kinda negates the whole “I deserve to be listened to” kind of thing).

In other news, I have discovered the wonders that are iGoogle and Google Chrome. Sure, in about ten years Google will have become the next evil technological corporation, where people use their products not thanks to innovation but because there’s no other market choice. Unlike Microsoft, however, Google seems to be entering into the hardware business (they’re making netbooks, or really really tiny laptops that are primarily used for Internet access.) I don’t even have a smartphone yet (I could afford one, but I can’t afford the cell phone plan that comes with them!) So our phones are getting bigger again after they got smaller, and now we want computers that are smaller and can do less. I’d rather stick with a big but still portable laptop with lots of power (because when I can afford to waste $50 on The Sims 3 I TOTALLY WILL) and a smartphone that I can use to check my e-mail or browse for random information on Wikipedia so I can be a hit at cocktail parties, but that’s about it. I already carry enough in my bag that will give me back problems before I’m 30 (oh wait, I already have them, thanks to the 30-lb bag I carried around in middle and high school). I don’t need to add a computer to that.

But I do love Google Chrome. Much less wasted space and just as intuitively useful as Firefox. Plus compressed bookmarks toolbar! I’m having a great time with it. I must be in a really nostalgic mood or something, because I remember Computer Applications class in the 8th grade and taking forever to download pictures off Netscape Navigator. They were the pioneers for browser technology, but look how far we’ve come in those 10 years. I like being in this in-between space where I can remember when the Internet first became widespread, when Facebook began and it was just for college kids. Apparently younger people aren’t catching on to Twitter, but I love using it, and old people can’t figure out Facebook, but I was one of the original members. Maybe I really do “have it all”. It helps to have a mother who majored in Computer Science, too. I can’t remember a time when we didn’t have a computer in our house, although having MS-DOS be so freaking picky when I’m four years old and want to play my real-floppy-disk mini-golf game could occasionally be frustrating.

I haven’t had much luck with emulators in getting these games to work on my computer now, either. I would really like to play the old Interplay Lord of the Rings and Two Towers games (the most complicated games ever created when they first came out), but no emulator I’ve found has them work correctly (or comes with a manual; I can’t remember how to even open up the menu in those games!)

On a completely unrelated note, and hopefully one that will inspire much more productivity, I do have a goal tomorrow that relates to helping someone else out: One of my graduate instructors has asked me to write a letter for him talking about my experiences as a student while he seeks employment when he earns his PhD. He was definitely my favorite instructor and I learned the most from him out of everyone in my program, and there were a lot of qualified individuals. I will write the rough draft tomorrow, review it over the weekend and send him some copies of it early next week so he can be sure to have it for his own job search.

Stay safe during the G20, Pittsburgh folks!

I am feeling much better. Thankfully, the sore throat and massive headache only lasted through midafternoon on Sunday, just in time for me to go and watch the Steelers lose, which gave Ian a headache for a little while. I have not been watching football as long as he has, or loved the Steelers as long as he has (and I probably never will to the depth that he does, partially because I’m not a native and because I devote my insane passions to other things), so I was able to take yesterday’s loss in stride. I was actually really annoyed at the bar because all these people were booing Jeff Reed whenever his face came up on the screen. Since when are Steeler fans fairweather fans? Jeff Reed is an amazing kicker most of the time (hello, he saved us last week), and I admire him as a player if not as a alcohol-loving, paper-towel-dispenser-trashing party guy. The Steelers probably should lose once in a while (I know, blasphemy), to remind the players and the fans that perfection is a goal and not a reality (nor can it be. Something always needs improved). At least it was to a decent team that really managed to pull it together after the first quarter. We’ll still be able to steamroller the Bungles on Sunday (and come on, WDVE, did you really say, “Can you believe we’re tied with the Bengals?!” It’s week two. We’re tied with a lot of really crappy teams. Standings don’t matter until at least the halfway point of the season.) So yes, I was annoyed. Ian took a little longer last night to come to this understanding than I did, but it’s a sign of his maturity that he did and didn’t succumb to the potty mouths everybody else decided to have.

But the real point is that during the commercials (which are plentiful and often during any NFL broadcast), there was one for McDonald’s advertising this new DVD that they have called “Brothers and Champions” or some stuff. I have no idea if it’s any good and I’m not willing to eat McDonald’s just so I can purchase it, but the ad did get me thinking. I tried to find it online, but no such luck. It features a married couple. The husband is in his nicely finished basement, with tons of Steelers paraphernalia and a nice TV set (to watch games on, of course). The wife comes home and down the stairs, and says something to the effect that it’s a “dinner and a movie” night. The husband is willing to go along with this, though somewhat reluctantly, until she pulls out the bag of food from McDonald’s and the DVD she purchased there (any value meal means you get it for $5 or something). He begins crying and tells her how much he loves her.

Except for the McDonald’s part, that is a scene from my future. No joke.

When Ian and I began dating and I discovered that his love of sports didn’t end with football but included bizarre things such as Nascar (I refuse to get into this, but I already know more than I’d like to). He also ate a lot of soup (canned Campbell’s crap, which to me is the grossest thing ever and is basically like eating your own diarrhea. Yeah.) When it became apparent that we were both in it for the long haul, I would joke with him that when we were married and had a house, I would let him have a room all to his own where I would never, ever go where he could eat soup and watch Nascar.

It’s a sign of growth that I have learned to let Ian eat soup in the same room as me and that he has the decency not to slurp it or try and kiss me after he eats it. I will probably let him eat it, on occasion, in our future home. But, the idea of the basement rec room, with sports memorabilia everywhere, and a good TV that’s mainly used for watching sports – extravagant, I know – has grown in both our minds, and was realized fairly accurately in that commercial. The only changes I would make to the room involve yellow-painted walls instead of that weird wood panelling, and my attempt at a Steelers logo (In a pinch, Ian declared we could use Fatheads, but they are expensive. Plus, a Steelers logo would be much easier than other football team logos. The trouble comes if I would try and paint one for the Pens).

Ian and I also attended a housewarming party this past weekend for some friends of ours from college who we both really like but hardly ever see. They had a beautiful little house and that, also, contributed to those “nesting urges.” Imagining house shopping, deciding what I would and wouldn’t like, what “necessities” exist, how we’ll remodel and rearrange to suit a growing family and changing needs over the years. I moved a lot as a kid, but Ian didn’t, and he’s content with that. We want the house we hope to buy next spring to be the house we raise our kids in until they move out and go to college so we can retire to North Carolina (we’re the kind that likes to plan ahead). That rec room is a part of it. So’s the nursery I keep imagining. I’m not sure if I believe all this nonsense about all women having biological clocks (and only women, not men, mind you); but it’s getting to the point where I am getting more than a little nuts about the idea of having a baby. I already know way too much about how I want to deliver and raise a child (home birth, attachment parenting, etc.), and Ian and I have names already for three potential children (our maximum – names can and probably will be rearranged depending on sex, obviously). But it’s not just me. I smelled baby powder all afternoon and spent time designing the nursery in my little “house of dreams,” but any time Ian and I are in a mall and he drags me to the Steelers store he gets a goofy grin on his face when he looks at the onesies designed to indoctrinate small children early. Or even when we’re sitting in church and some baby starts screaming, as they tend to do, and he’ll squeeze my hand. There won’t even be a little “us” until at least 2011 if things go according to plan, and we’re already baby crazy.

I guess it’s a sign that we’re ready to grow up. Our three-room apartment has been fine for us but we’re ready to spread out into a house that we could then add a couple cute children to. We’d like to grow a garden, and paint our own walls, and work, and contribute to the world. Our wedding is roughly 10 months away, and while we’ve been lax about the planning for past month (it’s been hella busy), we are ready for this up-and-coming stage of our lives. Don’t get me wrong, we both love (-d in my case) school and friends and having no major responsibilities, but negotiating these changes have been fun for us and we’re ready.

So my goal for tomorrow deals with preparing. I’m going to call around and see what I can set up as far as reserving rooms for our wedding guests next summer. It’s been on my wedding to-do list for a while, but it hasn’t happened yet. This’ll be a good step.

Some snot-nosed (literally) kid at the doctor’s office got me sick. I’ve been drinking green tea and laying low all day. Throat feels about three times its regular size.

I’d like to think that sometime in the not-so-distant future, I’ll start using some more natural at-home remedies for illness than rush to line the pharmaceutical companies’ pockets, but right now ibuprofen is the only thing keeping my head from pounding.

My goal: GET BETTER.

Oh, and to rediscover Vitamin C. I’m not going to blame South Beach all on its own for getting me sick (see aforementioned sick kid), but was it worth it to try and unsuccessfully give up simple sugars despite all the great nutrients and immune system benefits offered by fruit? Probably not. So fruit’s back in. Maybe that’ll help kick the sweet cravings in a satisfactory direction.

Remember what I said about being productive? Yeah. It’s Wednesday. At least for another hour. I didn’t do much today, other than picking up my paycheck and depositing it so I won’t carry a ridiculous balance on my credit card into next month (I’m actually surprised I managed to go this long without ever carrying a balance on the card, considering I haven’t had any income since February.) It may temporarily damage my credit, but the plan is to pay off as much as I can this month, pay off the rest next month, and then just completely quit using the card, relying on cheques and cash only (because then I can’t spend money I don’t have). The way I figure it, I should start earning around $450 a week by the end of September, which is not bad at all for someone who hasn’t made a regular income…well, ever. It’ll pay the bills and I’ll be able to manage paying off some student loans starting in September.

I got called in to close tonight (and I said yes because while I do not much like work, although I don’t absolutely hate it, I do like this earning money thing, and I was originally scheduled for only four hours this week), hence the late posting. But it also prevented me from getting my TB test read today. There’s a 48-72 hour window after the initial injection to have it read, which meant I had to go after 4pm today. But I went to work at 4, so I’m going first thing in the morning tomorrow, and then calling District C (once I know I have everything) to schedule my appointment/interview/thingamajig. It actually works out wonderfully because I have to move my car by 10am anyway unless I feel like getting a $50 parking ticket.

The goal for tomorrow is to catch up on my to do list. This may be a cheat, especially since I’ve done it more than once already, but it will force me to do everything I’ve been neglecting (this blog does help me stay accountable), instead of just setting one little silly thing. These to-do list items include cleaning up the house, working some more on the puzzle, and moving forward with this subbing stuff. Oh, and finalizing my job search database. It’s epic. Perhaps I will explain it tomorrow?